The Umbrella of Arrogance

image

I’ve started a dozen posts, then stopped them, because I don’t want to share those thoughts.

I’ve posted a dozen photos, then deleted them again, self-consciousness eventually overwhelms every endeavor.

I used to write, until my writing became too much of a tool that could be used to judge, or potentially judge (perhaps only in my mind) my inferiority.

People who “know” me see a slim, fashionable, quick-to-laugh, professional with an exciting career and a dreamy husband.

But, that’s all just PR.

I am more flawed than I’d ever let even a best friend know, and my marriage is just as imperfect as the next.

I once opened up about all the cracks in my foundation to a friend I thought I could trust, only to see it thrown back in my face and joked about, through anonymous but thinly veiled references on Facebook.

But, it didn’t kill me, just wounded my pride a little and then made me stronger.

I have a secret super power I guess – my innermost layer of “I can do it better than anyone else!” remains impenatrable, even in the worst of times, and against any adversary.

I’m less bothered by my flaws than some, and less debilitated by the constant self-doubt that others feel. Arrogance is my secret strength, even when trembling to my core with fear and indecision, there’s a voice in my head that eggs me on.

My imperfections give me confidence. I see that even with my myriad faults the world still treats me as if I’m special. My kids still love me. My parents still call on my birthday (in spite of my awful teenage years), and I still get invited to social gatherings and neighborhood functions.

So maybe, I’m only as terrible as the next guy … and gossipy, judgemental frienemies, can go f*ck themselves.

Published by La Belle Valise

I work, I travel, and as often as possible, I make the two intersect.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

TravellersPlanet

Where wanderlust goes glam!

Discovering Chinese Life

a foreigner's perspective

Say Hello to Gorgeous

Welcome to the prettiest place on the internet

oliveoloveblog

Let's see the world!

Janaline's world journey

My sometimes Strange, but usually Wonderful Experiences and Adventures as I Travel through this amazing World we live in.

Travellers

Some kind of journey.

O at the Edges

Musings on poetry, language, perception, numbers, food, and anything else that slips through the cracks.

The Wine Wankers

G’day, you’re at the best wine blog ever! We're all about wine; without the wankery.

wordsandotherthings.wordpress.com/

she is confidence in shadows.

UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s)

by po'E.T. and the colors of pi

𝓑. 𝓐. 𝓓𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓡π“ͺ𝓼

π™³πš›πšŽπšŠπš– πš‹πš’πš! π™»πš’πšŸπšŽ πš‹πš’πšπšπšŽπš›!

Through Open Lens

Home of Lukas Kondraciuk Photography

Juju Films

Cutting edge Multimedia Programming

Where In The World Is Laidback Luke?

Experiencing Travel And Exploring Life

Belle Valise

Family Travel and Adventure Blog

%d bloggers like this: