Once upon a time I worked as a Barista at a ski resort alongside a rowdy snowboarder crowd. My colleagues enjoyed the odd Friday afternoon adult beverage, and although I was not of legal drinking age, they’d occasionally invite me to join them.
Now, I’m not one to shy away from a margarita, but shooting tequila wasn’t exactly my 19 year-old strength – though now I can hang if needed. But, on one particular Friday the rowdy crown invited me to partake, and though I probably should have declined for a number of personal and professional reasons, I said okay.
I took the shot, and the second shot that followed an hour later, and the third shot that came around 4:00 when at the same time, my good sense and my gag reflex intersected. My belly revolted, and I knew a hurl was coming. I ran for the nearest toilet, mouth-watering, chin quivering, and I realized my closest option was the men’s room. I made it just in time to unload my brown-bagged lunch all over the urinal.
When you find yourself staring at a urinal cake covered in your own vomit, you might want to reconsider your career choices, and other things I’ve learned from the corporate world through trial and error.
- Conflict should always be resolved voice to voice, not via email.
- Never order a meatball sub at a business lunch.
- If you’re frustrated when writing an email, put it in your inbox and let it rest for an hour.
- Never order that third margarita at a business dinner.
- If you have to cry, do it in private.
- Don’t put your hands behind your head when wearing a tight shirt in a hot room.
- Hurt feelings shouldn’t dictate business decisions.
- Don’t hesitate to apologize first so you can move on to important business.
- Sometimes, you just need to shut your mouth and wear beige.
- Own one really perfect pair of black shoes.
- Invest in a professional laptop carrying case.
- Attend every social event hosted by your employer, even if only for a moment.
- Never limit your perception of responsibility to what is written in your job description.
- Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer – take on any opportunity that comes up.
- Don’t group CC to castigate someone, do it quietly and privately.
- Share your concerns with your boss, but when the decision is made, get on board.
- If it’s important, write, edit, proof, let it rest, print it out, then proof read it again.
- Make friends with the IT team.
- Use your PTO, it’s an important piece for rebooting your mental systems.
- It’s not personal, it’s business.